Waking Up to the Quiet

I've had no sleepy surprises this week in Cube City, and it's been a superb awakening. The cube dweller who sends volumes of emails in the middle of the night is on vacation this week. The client who turns this cube dweller into midnight madness is also on vacation. So here I am, maximizing my PTO, enjoying my own vacation from them both. I have plenty to do, but I actually have the time to do it. It's amazing how one cube dweller and/or client can disrupt your work day and turn you into cranky pants. This week, I'm going to enjoy putting my work to bed and waking up to the quiet.

Hello?

There's a new security guard in Cube City, and he isn't very nice. In fact, he's downright rude. He has a staring problem. When I pass him on my way to the building's deli, he stares at me...so I say hello. And what does he say? Nothing. Is it that hard to return a greeting -- a greeting I felt obligated to initiate because he was staring at me? He's done this for a whole week. I hope he's just filling in for the friendly multi-tasking security/maintenance guy, or I might have to eventually punch his lights out.

Tattle-Tale

I had to tattle on someone in Cube City yesterday. It wasn't one of my own, but it was a copywriter from another office that was helping us out. Said copywriter turned in some absolute crap work, so I was the lucky one who had to (a) tattle to this person's boss, and (b) turn the crap work into something that looked and smelled a little better.

It's scary when you know there are people in Cube City who have no idea what they're doing. Is it because they aren't trained? Is it because they're stupid? Is it because they're too stupid to be trained?

I've had to tattle on this copywriter before, and it doesn't feel good. When I start to tattle, I have visions of a lisping, pig-tailed Cindy Brady dancing through my head. It's hard when you have to report poor work performance. It's hard to know when it's best to let it slide vs. crucial to keeping the customer happy. But really, I don't care all that much because, even though I'm cleaning up the crap, at least I don't have to figure out what to do with this copywriter. That's not much, but it's all I've got. Don't tell anyone I said so, though.

Please Don't Make Me Go to Staffing

What is the purpose of a staffing meeting? I realize this is a loaded question.

We have new rules for our staffing meetings in Cube City, but people aren't following them. If you don't request the right people for your brand work by the time we start the weekly meeting, you supposedly won't get anyone to work on your projects.

Uh, yeah. Tell that to people who talk to our clients, who have no idea how much work we sweat out of our pores for someone other than them.

People don't follow rules. They make up rules as they go along. So I sit in this boring meeting and make suggestions that people won't follow because they think the rules don't apply to them.

BASTARDS!

The rest of my week involves haggling with staffing coordinators and trying to help them clean up staffing shortages. Who's got any free time? How much? How soon can they start something they aren't expecting? Are they the best fit for this project? Who's better, and does that person have any time? If so, how much and how soon can they start?

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I don't want to deal with this garbage. I just want to do my work...assuming I'm staffed appropriately for it, anyway.

My Mulleted Friend

I've got this Friend in Cube City that I don't know very well. We really don't work together very much at all. I don't know what to make of him. He seems very professional on the outside. But on the inside, the man is insane. Let's take a look inside his Facebook, shall we?

Most of my Friend's posts on Facebook are about business insights. But every now and then, he either hits the vodka or forgets where he is (or perhaps both) and posts all sorts of freakshow entries. In the past week, he's posted several angry-emotional-reflective musings on his impending divorce. He's done the same with other highly personal information, like the pain his father is enduring with a terminal illness. He's even gone so far as to post photos of his father totally jacked up on pain meds and lying unaware in a lonely, sterile, white hospital bed.

WHOA. NELLY. When things like this happen and I need to make sense of them, I usually think of mullets. It's like business in the front, raging frizzy lunatic in the back. I cannot imagine what my Friend is going through. He's got stress, to say the least, but his posts make my hair stand on end.

It's a...Food!

I know several pregnant cube dwellers in my Cube City right now. What they all have in common is their ferocious appetites. Lately, they've been passing by my desk, or I've been visiting them, and they've had food with them -- good food, like cookies, crackers, and candy. And they're so nice about sharing it. If I were eating for two, I'm not sure I'd be so charitable.

So this is a shout out to my pregnant cube dwellers and their willingness to bear food!

Grace

Pardon my ignorance, cube dwellers. I'm just gonna put it out there today.

I come from a small town. I was sheltered beyond your comprehension during my formative years. So there will always be a part of me that is shocked, at least initially, by things that aren't as plain and simple as Wonder Bread.

There is a person in Cube City that I often see walking to and from our building's deli. I've always thought of her as incredibly tall and slim, with the type of physique so many girls would love to have. I've also thought of her as having a somewhat strange, almost lumbering, gait. The girl ain't graceful, but I'm not either. I guess it's just more noticeable when you're incredibly tall and slim.

Today, I came face to face with her for the first time. Well, okay, she's incredibly tall, so I had to crane my neck, but I had problems masking my surprise when I realized that she is transgendered. I wasn't expecting that, and I'm embarrassed by my ignorance. As I observed her, I was curious to know if she's had full or partial surgery, if she's taking a lot of hormones, and how she handles the pressures of Cube City on top of it all. My guess is that she handles it all a lot more gracefully than she walks. I don't envy her tough walk through this life, but I can tell you this: I'd kill for her hips.