If you are in Cube City today because your company is lame and doesn't give you the day after Thanksgiving off as a paid holiday...
You are a sucker, and your company is a fucker. Find a new job. Be sure to check the paid holiday schedule before you accept an offer or pee in a cup or anything.
You're welcome for this post-Thanksgiving advice.
Scissor Girl must now return to her four-day weekend. Ahhhh.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Many Thanks
It's been a really hard week of cramming 89 billable hours into 24. I can't see or think straight anymore, which should make today interesting. Nonetheless, I have to admit that I'm thankful for my job in Cube City. The economy is really rough right now, and even those of us with jobs are having to cope with hard times, cutbacks, uncertainties, and lots of changes.
Today I just want to thank my readers for indulging me with this daily feast of a blog. I'm thankful to have an outlet that helps me realize the silliness of the things that get to us in Cube City, and your comments keep me going. It's very comforting to discover that I'm not alone in cubicle hell, and that there are plenty of other perfect cube dwellers like me who have to put up with all of the imperfections.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Today I just want to thank my readers for indulging me with this daily feast of a blog. I'm thankful to have an outlet that helps me realize the silliness of the things that get to us in Cube City, and your comments keep me going. It's very comforting to discover that I'm not alone in cubicle hell, and that there are plenty of other perfect cube dwellers like me who have to put up with all of the imperfections.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Listen Up: I Have a Voice
I was recently invited to a meeting with a guy who has worked in Cube City since the beginning of time. He just took a new position in the company and wanted my feedback on what he could do to help the people in my discipline.
Huh?
It took me quite a while to grasp that he actually cared about my opinions and genuinely wanted to work with me to solve some long-standing problems. Who does that anymore? People usually aren't so professional or courteous about sharing their ideas and seeing what you can add before they move forward. Instead, they make up their own rules with deaf ears as they go along, consulting nobody in the process. We all know how that misinformed approach ends -- badly.
It's good to know that ethics aren't completely dead in Cube City and that there are still some cube dwellers out there who believe in building collaborative relationships.
You heard me.
Huh?
It took me quite a while to grasp that he actually cared about my opinions and genuinely wanted to work with me to solve some long-standing problems. Who does that anymore? People usually aren't so professional or courteous about sharing their ideas and seeing what you can add before they move forward. Instead, they make up their own rules with deaf ears as they go along, consulting nobody in the process. We all know how that misinformed approach ends -- badly.
It's good to know that ethics aren't completely dead in Cube City and that there are still some cube dwellers out there who believe in building collaborative relationships.
You heard me.
Monday, November 24, 2008
These People Are Sick
Due to the new limitations on working from home, people are showing up sick in Cube City.
Who can blame them? It's not like they feel badly enough not to work, and who wants to minimize their PTO just to keep their germs away from other cube dwellers? Nobody is that courteous or self sacrificing.
What gets me is when courtesy totally leaves the building and people are hacking up goo in their cubes. Hello? Do you realize that there are people around you who can hear you working it up and spitting it out?
Just thinking about that sound makes me sick.
Who can blame them? It's not like they feel badly enough not to work, and who wants to minimize their PTO just to keep their germs away from other cube dwellers? Nobody is that courteous or self sacrificing.
What gets me is when courtesy totally leaves the building and people are hacking up goo in their cubes. Hello? Do you realize that there are people around you who can hear you working it up and spitting it out?
Just thinking about that sound makes me sick.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Low Expectations
My new cube mate is awesome. She comes to work with me on most Fridays and eats my desk, but I don't care. I mean, I don't want her to swallow wood splinters or anything, but the desk itself is ugly and therefore should be eaten.
The best part about my new cube mate is that she's too young for me to expect anything from her. She doesn't have to show signs of intelligence or an attention span. She doesn't have to behave. She doesn't have to be good at anything. If I could expect as little from junior-level workers in Cube City, I think I'd like them better.
The best part about my new cube mate is that she's too young for me to expect anything from her. She doesn't have to show signs of intelligence or an attention span. She doesn't have to behave. She doesn't have to be good at anything. If I could expect as little from junior-level workers in Cube City, I think I'd like them better.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Cube Q&A: Watch Out for the Bus
Q: What goes through the minds of people who throw you under the bus in Cube City, and how can I fight back?
A: First things first: It's insightful of you to note that this will happen to you more than once, and that you'll be hit by multiple bus drivers. The people who throw you under the bus see you as a sacrificial lamb. They will sacrifice you to save themselves and really won't put much additional thought into it. Basically, you're just a blind spot to them. The best thing you can do is build alliances in your school zone, where there's a reduced speed limit and lots of other children like you who are just trying to walk to school and get an education. You can all hold hands if necessary, as there is safety in numbers. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and look both ways before you cross the road.
A: First things first: It's insightful of you to note that this will happen to you more than once, and that you'll be hit by multiple bus drivers. The people who throw you under the bus see you as a sacrificial lamb. They will sacrifice you to save themselves and really won't put much additional thought into it. Basically, you're just a blind spot to them. The best thing you can do is build alliances in your school zone, where there's a reduced speed limit and lots of other children like you who are just trying to walk to school and get an education. You can all hold hands if necessary, as there is safety in numbers. Just keep your eyes and ears open, and look both ways before you cross the road.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
It's Just a Phase
I wonder why we refer to our project deadlines as "phases" here in Cube City? We finish the first project for a brand and call it Phase 1. We tell our clients that we'll do all of these awesome whiz-pow-bang things for Phase 2. But then it's time for Phase 2 and we've got usability feedback, a new direction for the brand, and/or some other kind of feedback that turns Phase 2 into fixing what's wrong with Phase 1. Of course, we all know what Phase 3 brings: Fixing what's wrong with Phase 2, as well as anything that didn't get fixed or noticed in Phase 1.
Forget the whiz-pow-bang promises of projects to come. They are just a phase.
Forget the whiz-pow-bang promises of projects to come. They are just a phase.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
