Friday, May 29, 2009

Trouble in the Trenches

Yesterday, I found out that I'm going to be working with someone I've managed to avoid for the past year. This person made my work life a living hell throughout my first year in this Cube City because she was so unorganized and clueless about basic processes. She was almost as new as I was at the time, so I cut her some slack...but I'm quickly finding that she hasn't improved.

It's time to put a battle plan into place. I really don't know how she's survived here for two years, despite being a nice person. She's managed to dodge the bullet, but I guess I can see how; she wears lots of earth tones. Nonetheless, I refuse to let this unorganized, clueless person blow me up anymore. I'm fighting back.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Delay Day

After a few days of panic in Cube City, as I wondered how I was going to get my own work done while also covering for a vacationing writer, I am now faced with most of my projects being in a holding pattern. It's feast or famine here.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Middle of Nowhere

Somebody ran away from Cube City for a vacation, so I'm covering on a project I know nothing about. I hate covering other people's projects. It's like being the person who visits the club and doesn't know the secret password. Actually, it's like being the person who visits the club and doesn't realize there's a secret password.

When you don't know what you don't know, you don't know what to ask. And these days in Cube City, nobody gives you a map. Instead, you have to guess your way through the maze as you march blindly forward with no clues, flashlights, compasses, snacks, or aids of any kind.

I've always been one who hates to be lost. When I'm on the road and have taken a wrong turn, I go crazy until I'm headed in the right direction. And that's pretty much where I find myself today, lost in the middle of nowhere. I'll find my way back home, but some directions from someone in the club would be nice. I'd settle for the secret password, for starters.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Holiday Weekend: A Primer

I spent part of the long holiday weekend doing some painting at the house. It was so gratifying to see instantaneous results. If only we could slap some paint on Cube City and see such immediate improvement, we'd probably feel better about it all.

Friday, May 22, 2009

I May'd It

The long holiday weekend is so close that I can almost taste it. I just love how nice everyone is in Cube City when they know that they're not going to have to face Monday Mourning.

It's been a really good week in Cube City, though it didn't really start out that way. I did not want to come here on Monday -- like, more than usual for a Monday. No reason, really. I just didn't want to, and the thought of dragging myself to the office made me feel dead inside. But we had a team picnic in the park that day, which turned out to be a lot more fun than I initially thought. Lots of sunshine, good people, a friendly game of Frisbee, fresh watermelon, and a crazy puppy (not mine!) running amok and making us all laugh about the simple things. It made me pause and think, "You know, the organizer of this event got it right. We all get to be outside enjoying nature -- something we always yearn for when trapped inside on a gorgeous day."

The rest of the week has been good too. Just lots of good weather, a half day off work, and other simple things to celebrate. It's a far cry from this time last year in Cube City. I'm not one to take stock of the good times and appreciate them while they're here because I am always suspiciously looking over my shoulder, waiting for bad news to come down the stretch.

Not this time. It's a great week and a great time of year. I love May! I love everybody! May you all have a great weekend.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Drive Friendly

On my drive to Cube City, I found myself looking around while stopped at a traffic light. Sitting in the red car to my right was a guy with a pleasant look on his face. He was wearing a dress shirt and tie, so I would assume he was on his way to Cube City. There were so many nose prints, presumably from a dog, on his rear windows that I had to laugh out loud. Here's this happy-looking guy driving to work in true "1980s mullet" spirit: Business in the front, party in the back.

I had to wonder why he looked so pleasant:
  • Does he actually like his job?
  • Was he daydreaming about something interesting?
  • Did he hear something entertaining on the radio?
  • Was he thinking about his nose-print-happy doggy?
  • Had he gotten lucky before the commute into work?

I don't know, but it was refreshing to see a friendly face in traffic this morning.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Half Day

I'm taking a half-day off from Cube City this afternoon. Half-days are always weird. When you work a full day, half of the day seems long and productive. You wonder if the lunch hour will ever arrive. But when you work a half-day, everything seems to be on fast-forward, and you wonder how you're going to accomplish anything in a measly four to five hours. I suppose I could have taken a full day off, but I was half thriving on the stress of a compressed work day and half resistant to dig into paid time off that I might need to maximize at a different time.

I'd better get some work done. My day will be half over in two hours.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

SFGTD

A friend of mine just moved into a new Cube City, and the cubicles are at chin-level.

When you're sitting down.

My friend says he feels like a Bubble Boy. He's just trapped inside a big bubble all day long and can observe everything around him, whether he wants to or not.

One of his new cube neighbors was decorating her cube and wrote "SFGTD" in big letters on her whiteboard. When my friend asked her what this mysterious acronym meant, she said, "Oh, it's just something I made up. When I'm having a hard day or can't find the answers I need, I just look up here at my board and tell myself that it's Something For God To Do."

Since my friend doesn't believe in God, so to speak, he feels contaminated by such information. I don't know what to tell him. His cube neighbor didn't offer the information; he asked for it. Even a bubble can't keep you safe from potential harm in Cube City.

Monday, May 18, 2009

It Can't Be.

I don't want to be in Cube City today. And that's all I have to say.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Windy Cube City

Dang, y'all, what is up with the wind in this town?

It's been windy outside all week, but I've been dealing with a total windbag inside Cube City too. This person is a control freak who just cannot let anything go. Nobody can win with this cube dweller. Of course, this person doesn't want to take a first stab at anything. Instead, you're supposed to be a mind reader who takes this person's unknown vision and puts it beautifully on paper.

The whole situation just leaves me winded.

I think this person thrives on the game of failed mind reading. But I have learned that psychoanalysis is a very powerful game in and of itself. I won't say anything on the outside, but I'll psychoanalyze the hell out of a person's erratic behavior on the inside. It's not much, but it's all I've got. It just makes me feel better to inwardly pity the fool who has control issues and seemingly has no idea that the inability to let anything go comes across as baggage for everybody else to see and pick through. Maybe this cube dweller never had any say in anything growing up. Maybe the rest of us just have to smile and nod while this freak acts out. I don't know, but I've got my own wind power, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Taking It Personally

It's been said that your employer knows you'll spend time doing personal things on the company dime...and therefore factors this into your annual salary.

If this is true, I'm in the wrong Cube City. I mean, I want to add value wherever I can. I want to give the company what they're paying for. If that means doing personal time on the company dime, I want to knock things off my personal to-do list!

But in my current Cube City, I rarely have time to breathe, let alone balance my checkbook or get the grocery shopping done.

Am I doing something wrong? In every other Cube City, I've always had time to run off and start my laundry, call friends at work to help them waste time, or get an oil change in the car.

Not this time. If you have any tips for how to work the system, please send them my way. Do it for your company. They're paying you for it, after all.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Ghost Writer

I've been going insane lately with a bunch of little tasks in Cube City. Yesterday, while I was trying to tackle task #387.5, someone came to me with a request. This cube dweller wanted me to ghost-write a letter for an important person in Cube City.

Maybe I'm too much of a control freak, or maybe I just realize I don't have what it takes to be important, but I can't imagine having anyone write a letter on my behalf. If my name is going on the letter, I should be the one who writes it.

I guess I just don't understand how someone decides they are too important or busy to write their own letter. Nevertheless, I'll do as I've been asked. I'll do my best. I'll do the write thing.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Rumor Has It

I was sitting in a meeting in Cube City yesterday when a guy announced that he heard a rumor about a big chunk of business that we had reportedly just lost. My boss was in the meeting and said she hadn't heard that rumor but would confirm it.

Last night, I told my significant stapler about the rumor. We had planned on doing a little shopping for a big-ticket item, but that sort of news always makes me take a big conservative step back. 

I hate that.

I hate feeling like I can't live my life because something big could happen to make me regret it. While processing this information and resentment, I decided that I can't cave in to the rumors or keep feeling shackled by the unknown. I told my significant stapler that all Cube Cities go through crazy changes at all times. It's just that you don't hear about the crazy changes in the more established, professional companies because a secret is considered a secret there. If you're told to tell no one in other Cube Cities, you obey. You tell no one, period. The cube dwellers live in ignorant bliss.

I don't know what's better -- having an idea of what's going on or having no clue. Rumor has it that I don't have a choice in what I do or don't know in my current Cube City.

Monday, May 11, 2009

At a Loss

I'm really not into Cube City today. I sit here, trying to think of something to blog about, and I'm at a loss. Literally. I spent part of my long weekend making the difficult decision to let my 13-year-old dog go. He was the first dog I had on my own as an adult, and he was a wonderful companion.

So I'm really at a loss for words and at a loss in general. 

RIP, Foster
1/1996 - 5/07/2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Time Out

I'm taking a two-day siesta from Cube City, starting tomorrow. I'm going to take time out for personal business, and then I'm going to show off my new cube mate in Denton all weekend. It should be an interesting mix of relaxation, productivity, and total anxiety.

It's really a recap of how things are in Cube City -- sans the relaxation, of course.

Be strong while I'm out, cube dwellers. See you on Monday.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Opportunity for Change

Changes are coming my way in Cube City. They could be good. They could be bad. I really have no way of knowing.

My boss dropped by to tell me of her visit to our other offices last week and that we will once again come back together. Decentralization isn't going to work with our current plans.

I'm fine with coming back together, though long-distance communications certainly have their challenges. The question is how we're going to reunite. Who's going to be in charge of what? What does this mean for me? What does this mean for the people who report to me?

It makes me think of opportunities and decisions, and who's behind my fate. I was told when I first started working here that my boss's imminent departure meant a huge promotion for me. But all I got was more responsibility -- no title change, no money to go with the responsibility, no steady boss in my corner.

I now have a steady boss, and I think she's in my corner, but I don't want to get my hopes up about anything. People tell you about "opportunities," and then you naturally get excited before anything really happens. Then nothing happens...and you beat yourself up for ever having a shred of optimism...or ever believing that it's finally your time to get what's yours.

I know there are people who report to me with similar feelings. They probably wonder what I'm doing to fight for them. I see people in Cube City who get promoted quickly, sometimes unjustly. I see other people who sit in the same job title with lots of talent and nowhere to take it. I see other talented people who, for inexplicable reasons, are thanked for their service and shown the door.

I guess all I can do right now is recognize that there is an opportunity for change. I don't know what the change is or how it is going to affect me or the people around me. I just know that change is coming.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Accused

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be working in Cube City with someone who ends up in jail, accused of first-degree murder?

Such a thing hasn't happened to me in quite this way, but I got a really strange "close encounter" email last Friday morning that threw me for a loop.

The email was from a dog breeder's husband. The husband was writing on her behalf, via her email address, as she was in jail awaiting a bond hearing. She was accused of murdering her parents. I had exchanged just a few emails with this woman when searching for my new cube mate and had realized pretty quickly that I wouldn't be going with her. She seemed perfectly fine and had reputable people on her side, but she was new to breeding. I really didn't want to take my chances with somebody who had been in the business for two years versus 30 years. I politely and gently let her know that I had chosen another kennel, and I never heard from her again.

Until now. Well, sort of. Through the husband ghost writer.

The email was sad -- a desperate and highly emotional plea sent out to random strangers like me, asking for letters to be written to the judge on her behalf. I was asked to write to this judge to let him know that she's not a flight risk or a threat to anyone, and that she should be able to get a reasonable bond so that she can spend the next two years at home while she awaits her murder trial. I was asked to tell the judge how I knew her and to vouch for her character.

Naturally, I googled her and found a media frenzy of articles about the compelling evidence stacked against her. It doesn't look good for her. She looks downright guilty, and it's an absolute shame. It makes me wonder how her cube dweller friends responded to the news. Did they write letters on her behalf? Did anyone, in Cube City or elsewhere, try to help bail her out?

It makes you realize that you don't know what's going on in a person's head or personal life at any given time. The person sitting next to me in Cube City could be capable of things I never thought possible. It's a scary and complicated world out there, and we all find ourselves accused of things -- no matter how big or small. I'm sure the truth will come out with her story eventually, whatever it is. I'm sorry I can't help her. I really don't know her, and this sort of request is just way over my head and comfort level. Doing nothing is right in this case, but it still makes me feel guilty inside.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Funky Friday

I'm in a bit of a funk, and I'm not sure what to make of things in Cube City right now:
  • Does the sick person coughing next to me have swine flu?
  • Does a certain cube dweller have to be melodramatic at all times?
  • Have we reached our quota for people going on maternity leave?
  • Do I really have to Friend a co-worker I don't know on FaceBook, just because we said hello in the hallway one time?

I don't know, but life shouldn't be this complicated. April showers bring May flowers, and I'm just ready to bloom and grow -- not feel stunted by all of these questions.