Time for Change

There's a charity collection box in Cube City right now that makes me pause. It is a request for loose change and supposedly benefits a charitable organization.

Since the economy is at its absolute worst, I can't help but wonder if Cube City is the charity in need of our loose change. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I wouldn't be surprised if we're donating money to pay ourselves.

This gives "time for change" a whole new meaning.

The Song of Cube City

You know how you listen to your favorite music and you get stuck on one song? You just can't get past that song? You play it over and over and over again until your mind is numb from the repetition...so you progress to the next song, albeit reluctantly?

I wish Cube City could be this pleasurable. But Cube City is all about mind-numbing repetition that is not music to our ears. We try to get past that first song, which lacks rhythm and harmony, but we are stuck spinning around on a broken record.

Stick a needle in me. I'm done.

Cube Q&A: Committees

Q: My boss asked me to be on a committee at work that addresses people's concerns in the company. Should I say yes?
A: You poor little innocent cube dweller. What you don't seem to realize is that you've already been volunteered and that you have no say in your participation. What follows, quite naturally, is that you will become yet another ineffective member of an ineffective committee in Cube City. You have fun now.

Your Confidentiality Agreement

This is a confidential piece of writing, even though you are allowed to read it without a password.

You do have the right to read it.

You do not have the right to talk to anyone about it or share it with anyone you know.

You don't even have the right to think about it after you've read it.

Because you don't even have the right to think about it, don't even think that you have the right to acknowledge that you've felt anything by reading it. Feeling anything by reading includes laughter, tears, fears, hiccups, burps, farts, and questions. This list of feelings and noises is not inclusive and should not be considered as such.

Just read, sign your rights away to Cube City, and shut up for your own protection.

______________________
Your Signature

Weed Control

When are we going to weed Cube City out so that the flowers can bloom and grow? Weeds are plants that just grow in the wrong place, and Cube City is infested with them. It seems like all we are doing right now is letting the weeds grow out of control. They are persistent, and it seems like we'll never see a healthy green lawn again.

I wish we would spend our time learning how to prevent weeds rather than trying to figure out how to kill them. But that's not how we fertilize Cube City. We use a bunch of manure instead and put up with the smell.

Static Cling

For the past few days in Cube City, there's been a strange development in the stairwell. Everything is status quo in the morning, but every afternoon there's a dryer sheet on the stairs. The dryer sheet is in the same place every afternoon, yet it's never there in the morning.

I don't get it. It's sort of like the Mystery Pooper. Who is dropping their dryer sheets in the stairwell and why?

I think somebody has a major problem with static cling...and we all know that if you're going to get static cling, you're going to get it in Cube City. I would like to know if this mystery person is having any success feeling clean, fresh, and wrinkle resistant due to all of the dryer sheets s/he is using.

Speak up, Static Free! Rub some of your positive wisdom off on those of us who are negatively charged.

Corporate Graffiti

If I started a corporate-related graffiti wall in the Cube City bathroom, I wonder what it would look like?

My guess is that a modern-day graffiti wall is now called a blog. Only the coolest Cube Cities are blogged about on a regular basis with racy language.

Still, I think it would be hilarious to write old-school graffiti on the bathroom wall.

What would you write on the bathroom wall in Cube City? I think I'd start with, "Yep, we are pissing our lives away here."