It's the end of the week in Cube City, and I'm here to report on my new week's resolution. I think my track record with resolutions is generally pretty poor, but you can't blame a girl for trying. How did Scissor Girl do?
Monday: I attended a cube dweller's birthday lunch and ordered a chili cheese dog. What the hell was I thinking?! Idiot! To make matters worse, a cube neighbor informed me that she had a very impressive candy jar with just about every kind of candy I could want. She was right, and I wanted/consumed just about every kind. In my defense, I didn't visit the original Candyland, but how was I supposed to know that a shiny new branch of the candy bank would be opening up next door to me? Monday: FAIL.
Tuesday: One minute, I was telling myself to stay away from the new branch of the candy bank. The next minute, I was a loyal customer making continuous withdrawals. Tuesday: EPIC FAIL. (Editor's note: Scissor Girl had to sweat out 21 writeups for a brand planning meeting and actually finished her assignment early due to all the candy coursing through her veins.)
Wednesday: I visited the new branch of the candy bank twice. Yes, twice. That's about 8,000 fewer visits than the previous two days, but I should've just stuck with online banking. Wednesday: PATHETIC BORDERLINE FAIL.
Thursday: I didn't let myself visit the candy bank at all. If I needed to talk to the candy banker, I called or emailed. No drive-thrus, no walk-ins. I busied myself with work and carrot sticks. It just wasn't the same...in so many ways. I finally met my resolution, if only for the day. Thursday: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
Friday: Today is yet to be determined, but I'm working from my safe place. There's never any food here that isn't healthy, so I'm predicting success unless the cupcake fairy shows up at my door. Note to self about Friday: DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR.
How did it go with your own resolutions for this week?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Desperately Seeking Acceptance
I work with two people in Cube City who were hired at about the same time in the same discipline. There's something else they have in common: Both of them mark all of their calendar invitations as "tentative." They don't offer explanations either. They just mark everything with a noncommittal "tentative."
I hate that.
I think this is how they were trained, so they're not going to change. But I find an unexplained "tentative" RSVP very hard to accept. I realize that an invitation to a project meeting is not near as exciting as an invitation to a vodka party, but there are times when I need to know if you're going to show up or not.
I want to invite these two cube dwellers to rethink their training. But since it's really not my place to tell them how to think, I'm tentative in my invitation. I'll just have to accept that this is how things are, but I don't have to like it. I should probably start bringing vodka to my meetings.
I hate that.
I think this is how they were trained, so they're not going to change. But I find an unexplained "tentative" RSVP very hard to accept. I realize that an invitation to a project meeting is not near as exciting as an invitation to a vodka party, but there are times when I need to know if you're going to show up or not.
I want to invite these two cube dwellers to rethink their training. But since it's really not my place to tell them how to think, I'm tentative in my invitation. I'll just have to accept that this is how things are, but I don't have to like it. I should probably start bringing vodka to my meetings.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Extracted
When you live the reality of Cube City, there's no movie you can better relate to than Office Space. From having a case of the Mondays to bashing the stupid fax machine with a bat, the characters in Office Space really bring cubicle depression to life.
But now the makers of Office Space have released a new film called Extract. Has anyone seen it yet? My significant stapler and I were going to see it over the weekend but just didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, much like Peter in Office Space when he decided he just didn't want to go to work anymore...or pay his bills. But we did watch the trailer for Extract online, and it looked funny...in a depressing sort of way.
If you've seen Extract, please share your review here!
But now the makers of Office Space have released a new film called Extract. Has anyone seen it yet? My significant stapler and I were going to see it over the weekend but just didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, much like Peter in Office Space when he decided he just didn't want to go to work anymore...or pay his bills. But we did watch the trailer for Extract online, and it looked funny...in a depressing sort of way.
If you've seen Extract, please share your review here!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Crickets
October is always tough in Texas. After a long, hot, and dry summer, there's a massive cricket outbreak. Everywhere you go, you see crickets. You hear crickets.
October is always tough in Cube City too. This is the time of year when we start brand planning for next year. We come up with the big ideas we want to pitch to our existing clients to see what they'll go for and how we can convince them to spend their advertising dollars with us. We have brainstorms. We list our ideas. We prioritize our ideas. We categorize our ideas within strategic frameworks. We put presentations together that represent our ideas. Then, of course, we present our ideas.
Lately, I've been involved in brainstorms where nobody is jumping up to present great ideas. I think we're all exhausted and have run out of ideas. It doesn't help that most of our ideas never see the light of day. I feel badly for the people who are leading these meetings. All they're hearing is crickets.
I wish the remedy was as simple as rubbing our legs together until some chirping comes out. I can't say that I've actually tried this, but I think it would work only for males, if at all. I guess I'll just keep thinking in hopes that I can come up with some ideas to put in the hopper.
October is always tough in Cube City too. This is the time of year when we start brand planning for next year. We come up with the big ideas we want to pitch to our existing clients to see what they'll go for and how we can convince them to spend their advertising dollars with us. We have brainstorms. We list our ideas. We prioritize our ideas. We categorize our ideas within strategic frameworks. We put presentations together that represent our ideas. Then, of course, we present our ideas.
Lately, I've been involved in brainstorms where nobody is jumping up to present great ideas. I think we're all exhausted and have run out of ideas. It doesn't help that most of our ideas never see the light of day. I feel badly for the people who are leading these meetings. All they're hearing is crickets.
I wish the remedy was as simple as rubbing our legs together until some chirping comes out. I can't say that I've actually tried this, but I think it would work only for males, if at all. I guess I'll just keep thinking in hopes that I can come up with some ideas to put in the hopper.
Monday, October 5, 2009
New Week's Resolutions
Today in Cube City, I resolve to avoid Candyland. The candy man says he won't be refilling his candy dish after this week, as he'll be going to Europe on a fancy vacation. I guess I'll just challenge myself to stay away from the candy so that I can (a) avoid buying bigger pants, and (b) practice coping for the candy man's departure.
In other words, watch out. Scissor Girl could get cranky.
Do you have any resolutions for the week?
In other words, watch out. Scissor Girl could get cranky.
Do you have any resolutions for the week?
Friday, October 2, 2009
10/2
It's going to be a great day in Cube City. Well, okay, I'm not sure about the Cube City part, but hey...at least it's Friday.
But Friday or not, I think 10/2 is a great day overall. I'm not a big fan of Lance Armstrong's enormous ego, but I think it's pretty cool that he celebrates 10/2 as, "The day I was diagnosed with cancer was the day I started to live." I'm reminded that some people have bigger problems.
I like 10/2 for more significant reasons too. It's the day that I met my significant stapler, who has officially put up with me for four years! Every 10/2, we buy a living thing and plant it in our yard -- not a person or animal that we bury alive, for clarification, but rather a plant or tree of some kind. It's just a sentimental way that we like to celebrate our day.
What's a great day to you? Happy 10/2!
But Friday or not, I think 10/2 is a great day overall. I'm not a big fan of Lance Armstrong's enormous ego, but I think it's pretty cool that he celebrates 10/2 as, "The day I was diagnosed with cancer was the day I started to live." I'm reminded that some people have bigger problems.
I like 10/2 for more significant reasons too. It's the day that I met my significant stapler, who has officially put up with me for four years! Every 10/2, we buy a living thing and plant it in our yard -- not a person or animal that we bury alive, for clarification, but rather a plant or tree of some kind. It's just a sentimental way that we like to celebrate our day.
What's a great day to you? Happy 10/2!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Who You Gonna Call?
Welcome to October. In Cube City, Halloween has come early. I park on the dungeon level of the parking garage, and lately I've been attacked by dirty cobwebs dangling from the rafters. It's like Cube City is trying to trap me within a tangled web, and I don't like it at all.
I have to wonder who I need to call to bust these tangled webs. Is there a custodian who occasionally vacuums the rafters of the garage? Are we just supposed to pull these webs down ourselves and hope the spiders have long since abandoned them?
I know that, as a digital agency, we provide web services...but cobwebs were not exactly what I think any of us had in mind.
S c a r y.
I have to wonder who I need to call to bust these tangled webs. Is there a custodian who occasionally vacuums the rafters of the garage? Are we just supposed to pull these webs down ourselves and hope the spiders have long since abandoned them?
I know that, as a digital agency, we provide web services...but cobwebs were not exactly what I think any of us had in mind.
S c a r y.
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