Oooky Dooky

I regrouped with my amusing friend from a different Cube City, and she wants you all to know that French pedicures are oooky because it's as though feet are trying to be too much like fingers. I'm sure we can all get some sleep now.

Oh, and she also wants you to know that wooden Nutcracker figurines -- the ones people use as Christmas decorations -- are oooky because:

• Nothing about them says Christmas
• They have freakish hinge-jaw faces

Oooky dooky. I think we're done here.

Same Job, Different Face

I need to process something, cube dwellers, and I hope you can help me.

Last week in Cube City, I received a resume from our recruiter for a position that's not even open, but that's not the part I find difficult to process. The resume's owner was the long-time girlfriend (at least 8 years, maybe longer) of the only person I've ever had to fire -- except that, according to her new last name, she's now married to that guy.

Okaaaay. Who besides me thinks this is odd? May I see a show of hands? What person in their right mind would apply for the same position in the same company where her then-boyfriend-now-husband got fired -- especially when the position isn't even hiring?!

Surely this is a joke. Ugh. Weird. But maybe it isn't...and that's the part that I find most difficult to process.

A Pedi for Your Thoughts

I have an amusing friend in a different Cube City with a very specific list of the things that bother her. You don't hear or see the list all at once, as it's in her head. But if you unknowingly bring something up in conversation that happens to be on the list, you are going to hear about it.

The last time we got together, she was telling me how she likes French manicures but thinks French pedicures are oooky. I can't say that I had an opinion one way or the other before she started explaining why French pedicures are wrong. I can't even remember her reasons for why French pedicures are wrong, but she somehow convinced me that they are indeed oooky.

At a meeting the other day in Cube City, I was sitting next to a woman with open-toed shoes who had -- you guessed it -- a French pedicure. I found myself inching up to the conference room table so as not to have to see her feet. I was getting oooked out. It's interesting how a friend's thoughts can influence how you view the feet below you.

Another Year, Another Rain Check

It wouldn't be much of a feat for Mother Nature to throw some rain our way today, considering rain is about all we've seen for the past several weeks. However, it's October 15th, and I really can't seem to think about anything in Cube City on this date except the spooky rain check story.

Happy October 15th, my soggy cube dwellers!

The Bermuda Triangle

The brand planning madness continues in Cube City, and it's making m'head spin.

A very intelligent cube dweller put a few slides together to demonstrate the strategic nature of our tactics and then presented them to a small number of people on the internal brand team.

A few of us met without the very intelligent cube dweller to discuss her slides, particularly a framework that shows how we can integrate the planning of our tactics through a triangle effect. We sat there and struggled through the tactics, trying to decide how to map them into triangles. Were the triangles confusing and unnecessary, or were we just stupid?

We concluded both, so we asked our very intelligent cube dweller to come into the room to play a triangle game with us. We ran through the tactics, and she was able to map everything to triangles and explain it all in a way that made sense. I can't really explain it to you on my own, but it sounded good when she was talking about it.

I'm not really one to think in terms of triangles, or even strategic frameworks, and I found myself briefly depressed to be in a situation where I was mapping ideas into triangles. I felt sort of lost, like I was in the Bermuda Triangle. Reaching common ground is good, but it's even better to find your way home to what you know.

Office Assistant #82

Well, it's that time again in Cube City: Office Assistant #82 is born.

**Sigh**

I haven't really met our 82nd office assistant yet. Somebody walked a random woman through the office the other day and said, "Oh, and that's Scissor Girl," as they breezed by my desk. I'm assuming that was her. I waved and figured she was a new hire whose name and title I'd never know unless we worked together directly on something. That's how it works around here.

All I've seen of her is the all-too-familiar emails about who's out of the office, and they're riddled with errors...just like with Office Assistant #81. But when you consider that #81 is training #82, it's no big surprise.

We'll see how long Office Assistant #82 lasts. Six months appears to be the standing record. Mark your calendar.

Making Conversation

When I go to lunch with the quiet Cube City copywriters, I need to start taking notes. This is an eccentric group, and I find the variety of conversation topics to be very entertaining. At one of our recent lunches, here are a few topics we covered:

• Shoe repair for high-heeled boots
• Chicken fried steak (note: I think we talk about this glorious dish every time we meet)
• The tragedy of failed white fluffy frosting from the Joy of Cooking
• Halloween costumes, including the many variations of Michael Jackson we'll inevitably see this year
• Small-town motels
• The discipline required to wait until your birthday to open gifts you've received in the mail
• Whataburger taquitos (hey, we were hungry)
• Marathon training and when/if beer is a good hydration option
• The learning curve of a French press, or the tweaking required to make coffee that doesn't look like mud
• Origami
• The "overstyled" look of the latest Acura TL

I find it amazing that we cover so many topics since you can feel the tension and effort required to make conversation within this group. It's a victory to reflect on these times and see what happens when we open our mouths and form sentences. Go, team!