Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Cube Q&A

Q: Why project managers?
A: That is a rhetorical question.

If you have a question, I have an answer. Please send your cube question to me and you're bound to get the most enlightening answer EV-ER.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Q: Dear Working for Scissors:

How do I stop people from cutting their fingernails in cubeland? It's really annoying - not to mention the visual of fingernail slices spread across the carpet. What if I need to talk to them at their cube? I know I can email them or pick up the phone - but sometimes drive-bys are just quicker. How am I going to talk to them without look down at the floor? Please advise.

Scissor Girl said...

Dear Anon:
Getting nailed at the office is not ideal, but it happens. I suggest having a courageous conversation with Finger Nail. Try saying, "I've heard that fresh fingernail slices are high in essential fatty acids. May I pick one of your fingernail slices off the floor and try it? I have an essential fatty acid tester at my desk and would like to see if my levels change, but I cut my fingernails in the privacy of my own home this morning." Then you can just let Finger Nail take it from there.

Anonymous said...

What about the cube neighbor who pounces on you the moment that you arrive at work? No matter how hard I try to be quiet when I get to work, I have one co-worker with bionic ears who rushes over with a million questions before I can even get my laptop turned on. Is there a Cubicle Etiquette for Dummies book that I can buy for her?

Scissor Girl said...

Dearest Anon:
No book is going to carry the message that Bionic Ears will understand. I recommend spraying a can of Raid in Bionic's eyes (the formula that kills roaches, not just flies). If toxins aren't your thing, you might pretend not to hear her questions. After all, just because she has Bionic Ears doesn't mean that you do.

Anonymous said...

Anon,

I have found that a scary breakfast consisting of eggs and fish will keep people away for awhile. Be sure to warm it up in the microwave at work and slowly walk through cubicle land to your desk. Follow that with black coffee and you'll have enough time in the morning for your laptop to start up and the morning news!