The Resignation Letter

Dear Cube Dwellers,

I like to write resignation letters in Cube City. They are as close to closure as it gets. I usually write my resignation letter a few years before I leave a job. I always write them before I start searching for another job. They just make me feel good, like I have a say in something.

Templates Are Your Friend
My favorite resignation letter was two sentences long. I put no effort or passion into it, probably because I had nothing left to give. I pulled the letter from an online template gallery where hundreds of templates are categorized by occasion and have very descriptive titles like:

• Resignation Due to No Advancement Opportunities
• Resignation On Good Terms
• Resignation Due to Conflict with Boss

The template I chose had a description something like this: Resignation Offering No Explanation. It was as impersonal and bland as a form letter gets. I had been with the company for over five years -- my longest gig in Cube City. I loved the irony of being a long-term writer who submitted a generic resignation letter. Okay, so I was bitter.

Bosses Are Not Your Friend
Okay, so I'm still bitter. I've had three bosses in one year at my current job -- the first being in another city far far away but attentive if I needed anything, the second showing up on the org chart and nowhere else, and the third...well...the third is brand new and therefore in TBD mode. I'll get back to you on #3. But if I were to leave my current gig, I think it would be really funny to submit a resignation letter to my first boss--at her personal email address since she no longer works here--and nobody else.

I'd call that one something like Resignation to Ex-Boss With Motive of Escape Before New Boss Can Lure You Back into the Madness.

Sincerely,
Scissor Girl